In yesterday’s three-ring press conference, A-Rod gave it to us straight:  “I laid my bed. I’m going to have to sit on it.” 

And that pretty much sums it up.  This wasn’t going to be the sequel to the rather disappointing softball  Peter Gammons interview.  A-Rod was going to make himself nice and clear. He woud leave no topic unexplored, no question unanswered.

For example, when asked about the morality of his decision, A-Rod responsed,  ”I never thought I did anything that was wrong.  Perhaps.  But not wrong.”

No, A-Rod wasn’t mincing words this time.

A new storyline has emerged-it involves a cousin from the Domincan Republic, the smuggling of Primobolan (street name boli) across international borders , and confusion about proper usage of said boli. (He went with twice monthly injections for three years.  It was just a lucky guess. )

Let’s leave aside, for a moment, the fact that the only thing that could make this story seem less plausible to me would be if this mythical cousin brought these “boli” shipments over on a raft. 

If you’re going to juice,  at least have the decency to do your due diligence.  In my view, the only thing worse than a cheater is a lazy cheater.   I mean, seriously?  You’re telling me you didn’t have the energy to-I don’t know-look up the effects and correct administration of a drug you were injecting into your body on a semimonthly basis?  When literally the only thing you’re expected to do with your time is figure out how to take proper care of your body?  Clearly, money wasn’t the issue.  What about one of those fancy steroids regime trainers that seemed to be all the rage back in those days?

If the story he told was accurate, then congratulations, A-Rod; you’re even stupider than you sound.  But I doubt it.

More likely,  A-Rod decided to plead ignorance because he thought he might seem like a symapathetic character in an afterschool special if he painted himself as naïve and bungling.  Young kid hits the big time and all that.  But, dude.  2001 was your sixth full season in the majors.  And you were twenty-five.  Not a junior in high school.  Don’t insult us.

It’s possible I’m  missing something.  Buster Olney walked away from the press conference feeling pretty satisfied.  Feeling like A-Rod had shown the proper amount of remorse, cleared up any remaining questions, and effectively put the issue to bed.

My feeling?  Almost everything A-Rod said directly contradicted something he had previously said on the subject.  And he managed to say it without  seeming even remotely penitent or sincere.   Not to mention the fact that the dude totally threw his cousin under the bus.   I mean, damn. That’s cold.  And, sure,  we don’t have the cousin’s name-for now.  But give Selena Roberts a week.  She’s a very effective stalker.

But what’s it to A-Rod? Even if his entire real family does disown him.  He has the best, most loyal adopted family a boy could want.  The Yankees.  Brian Cashman offerred A-Rod his unequivocal support, saying, ” We’ve invested in him as an asset. And because of that, this is an asset that is going through a crisis. So we’ll do everything we can to protect that asset and support that asset and try to salvage that asset.”

Now that’s love.

But A-Rod’s not in much of a position to complain.  It’s like he said: He laid his bed.  He’s going to have to sit his asset on it.