A-Roid: Shootin’ From The Hip
As you have probably heard by now, Frost Tip has a hip injury that is threatening to keep him from the Classic. I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I’d say that the injury was probably the result of overuse-if there’s one thing that’s sure to cause a strain on the hip, it’s putting your foot in your mouth too many times.
That or a cyst.
A-Roid’s latest display of acrobatics came yesterday when he was in the middle fawning over Jose Reyes. And, look, if the guy wants to talk about his man-crush on Jose, there’s nothing wrong with that-in theory. Except why can’t A-Roid ever say anything nice without saying something not nice at the same time?
Like, remember that time he tried to compliment Bubba Crosby for hitting a walk-off home run, but was only able to do it by first saying how it was the last thing you’d ever expect from Bubba Crosby? Nothing against Bubba.
Well, similarly, in this latest installment of “A-Roid: The Backhanded Compliment,” our boy, in his infinite creativity, found a way to alienate teammates in an effort to praise a player for a different team entirely.
No wonder he hurt his hip. That requires a lot of flexibility.
When asked about Reyes, A-Roid responded, “I wish he was leading off on our team or playing on our team. That’s fun to watch, any time you have that type of speed. I mean, we have a guy in [Brett] Gardner that’ll be fun. That’s probably the most you can have, watching those guys run.”
Reyes plays shortstop. If I recall, the Yankees already have a shortstop. He’s our team’s captain. As for leadoff, that would be Damon. A-Rod’s jackass in arms.
I’m sorry, A-Roid, but how hard is it to say that Jose Reyes is fast and good at baseball without creating any more discord in the Yankees clubhouse than you have already? Seriously. If you can’t talk without saying something dumb or accidentally insulting someone, stop talking. That plan has my vote.
Not surprisingly, Damon was more than understanding. He said in response, “I’ve just got to go out there and prove to Alex what I can do. Alex and I are very good friends, and I think over his whole ordeal, we’ve gotten closer. We’ll talk when he gets back.”
I don’t know what’s going on between those two, but I predict that it’s a friendship that will eventually go up in flames. I can see it now. Damon, the consummate loyal sidekick, is eaten up by his resentment. What about him? When’s it his turn in the spotlight? The dynamic starts to unravel.
Mark my words. I am prescient, after all.
As for Jeter, he’s already reached the end of his very rapidly fraying rope where A-Roid is concerned. When asked about the comment, he couldn’t even muster his typical Jeter-like diplomacy, responding instead, “I’ve got nothing to say, man.”
And, whatever. Actions speak louder than words.
I’d like to see just how well the Yanks would do without Captain America at the helm to lead them. Not so very well, if yesterday was any evidence. Jeter and Team USA took the Yanks 6-5 in an exhibition game.
OK. That might have had a little something to do with the fact that A-Roid and Cano were among the missing. And that Team USA is comprised of some of the best players currently in MLB. But Jeet did drive in two of the winning runs.
So, you know, suck on that Reyes.
Brilliant/Hilarious
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