Sit down, and get mentally prepared-you’re not going to like what’s coming.  Bernie Williams stands accused of hitting a woman in a San Juan nightclub last night.

No, that’s not a typo.  I didn’t mean to write Barry Bonds or Christian Bale.  It was Bernie Williams.

Supposedly.

Maybe I am just blinded by the sheer force of my love for Bernie, but I find this all very hard to believe.  And by very hard, I mean impossible.  And by impossible, I mean as likely as it ever was for Manny to get signed to a five-year deal.

The story goes that Bernie was in the nightclub to perform-if you will recall, he is a smooth jazz musician.  According to the woman in question, Bernie got mad when she took his picture.  So he broke her camera and smacked her in the face.

Sounds a lot like Bernie, right?

Let’s leave aside the most obvious red flag about this story, which is that, even if he was enraged, this would be insanely out of character for Number 51-a guy who has been around long enough for us to know a thing or two about his character.  The fact is that Bernie wasn’t at the club puttin’ on for his city, trying to just enjoy a night on the town.  He was there to play music.  So, it’s hard for me to imagine him getting so incensed about one of his fans wanting his photo when he was at this club in an effort to promote himself and his smooth jazz.  Unless, maybe, this particular fan happened to be threatening Bernie with a gun and calling his mother a whore at the same time that she was taking the picture.

All I know is this:  During his tenure as a Yankee, Bernie never displayed any signs of an anger issue or a tendency to be violent.  If anything, he seems to take an exceptionally laissez faire approach to conflict resolution-always opting for a nap at the slightest sign of any clubhouse drama.

So I stand with Bernie, who has never found anything other than a positive outlet for the expression of the salsa in him.