A-Roid. Mark McGwire.  Barry Bonds.  Jose Canseco.  Roger Clemens. Sammy Sosa.  Manny Ramirez.  What do all of these players have in common?

Well, as of about noon today, the obvious answer to that question is that that they’re all alleged to have used some kind of performance enhancing substance. (In Manny’s case, exactly which kind of performance is still a question mark.)

However, even before the whole steroid thing came to light, there was another tie that bound this particular group of players together. It’s that in a fundamental way, they’re all kind of unlikable dudes.  Which begs the questions: which came first — the steroids or the jerk?

The obvious answer to that question would be that the steroids precede the jerk.  Jerkiness is, after all, a known side effect of steroid usage.

No, this isn’t just speculation.  It’s a fact.  A scientific fact.  It’s just that science doesn’t refer to the phenomenon as jerkiness.  Science refers to it as mania, mood swings, impatience, paranoia, and uncontrollable aggression.  At the end of the day, however, all that uncontrollable aggression has the funniest way of looking like jerkiness.

So, take a guy like Roger Clemens.  Back in the day, Roger could have been the nicest guy in the world for all we know – minding his own business, helping Debbie launch her baseballs and butterflies boutique.   Then, bam.  Enter too much testosterone into the system.  Suddenly the guy’s hurling bats at Mike Piazza without really knowing the hows are whys.

It’s possible.  I would suggest that it’s not all that plausible.

The other argument is that there is something inherently jerky about the kinds of guys who feel compelled to use PEDs to get ahead.  Sure, pumping these guys up with hormones doesn’t exactly help, but the substance didn’t exactly give them the personality transplant.

Whatever your conclusion, it’s almost uncanny the way the names that keep coming up in these allegations fail to elicit that much of a reaction in me.  Because, well, the names that keep coming up in these allegations are all names of guys I kind of thought were jerks to begin with.  Tell me Mariano Rivera is on the juice, and I’ll renounce the baseball god I don’t believe in.  Show me the report that says Ichiro Suzuki had a positive pee test, then I’ll show you disillusionment.

Manny gets busted for banned substances, I don’t feel the bitter sting of disappointment.  I feel like he’s just doing what he does — being Manny.