Those of you who know me know that I’m nothing if not just.

The host, perhaps a bit misguided himself, was talking about the upside to the Giuliani Administration.  The host appreciated that Giuliani acknowledged that the law was the law and took it seriously as such, even in cases when it seemed inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.  The specific examples he cited were panhandling and guys with squeegees.

Ah, yes. It begins with the squeegees but then before you know it, in the immortal words of W.B. Yeats, “mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.”

He went on from there to say, “You see, it starts with, say, a petty robbery, a break-in and the police saying, ‘Well, you can file the report, but we’re not going to do anything about it.’  Yes, it starts with selling drugs in the street, and maybe you say, ‘Ah well that’s not such a big deal.’  Keep doing enough of that, the next thing you know, you’ve got total lawlessness. You’ve got Deadwood.”

No, this was not Rush Limbaugh or a one-off conservative guest on NPR talking about the need to invest more money in our police force.  It was Richard Neer on WFAN. And he was talking about last night’s blown call at third base.

Like I said, it starts with the squeegees, and then it’s only a matter of time before you’re turning and turning in the widening gyre.

Leaving aside the fact that Neer’s rant took a kind of weird ideological turn, he’s right about one thing: Marty Foster made the wrong call. Derek Jeter tries to steal third in the first, the ball beats him there, and Foster calls him out even though Jeter’s hand is clearly ahead of the tag.

Now, it would be one thing if Foster had just gotten it wrong, said, “Sorry, according to what I saw, which is incorrect, you did not beat the tag.”  I think I’ve already made my feelings on umps and bad calls pretty clear. Human error has always been and always will be part of the game. Until we can just get robots to play the damn thing, anyway. It’s part of the joy, getting to yell, “What are you, blind, ump?”  Sometimes, the cookie crumbles your way, sometimes, it doesn’t. (Truth be told, I don’t actually understand this expression.)

However, last night’s call did not boil down to a failure to see the action correctly.  When Jeter and later Girardi went to Foster to argue, he told them that third baseman Scott Rolen did not have to tag Jeter to make the out.

To quote Derek Jeter, “I wasn’t aware there was a rule change.”

Ultimately, last night’s issue was about either the misunderstanding of or the willful misapplication of the rules. Of baseball. By the guy who’s supposed to be enforcing the rules. Of baseball.

In either case, it’s a bit of a worry.

One of the duties of the umpire is “enforcing the rules of the game.”  By definition, if an umpire doesn’t know the rules of the game, he’s going to have trouble enforcing them.  So, if the issue was one of misunderstanding, the Foster is generally going to have trouble performing one of his primary duties.

However, if it was a question of misapplication, then we’ve got possibly a bigger problem on our hands.  A problem of the mere anarchy is loosed upon the world variety.

Some of you may recall a piece I wrote about a treasure of a girl named Jessica.  She seemed to think that because she worked at some kind of a summer camp, she was entitled to go in the express lane at the super market despite having what was clearly more than the appropriate number of items in her cart. (Well, it was clear if you could count, anyway.)  I compared her to Vicente Padilla, who had received two balk calls, perhaps not totally earned in spirit. However, this was my ultimate conclusion:

“While you could argue that the law exists for the sake of its spirit, the only real way to make reasonable assessments is to follow the law to the letter. Rules exist for a reason, and since there’s no good way to determine intent, perhaps the only way is to use the guidelines that are pre-prescribed.”

This is more or less what Neer was trying to say. Except, nothing against Neer, but my way makes a little more sense.

According to crew chief John Hirschbeck, “It used to be if the ball beats you, you’re out.”  However, even Hirschbeck owns that that’s not the way we do things anymore. I don’t care how they did things in the Days of Yore. The rules are the rules. If Foster was aware of them and didn’t adhere to them, that would fall under the umbrella of willful misapplication.

The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

Ultimately, Jeter had no business running. With no outs in the first, getting called out at third is something of a little league mistake.  You don’t steal, and as Girardi put it, if you do, you damn sure better make it.  Jeter was quick to point out in response that, technically speaking, he did.

I guess we’ll know more when Marty Foster makes his statement.

Surely some revelation is at hand.

Today’s obvious statement was in reference to this week’s series against the Chowdas.  When asked about our current 0-5 record against the team whose name we do not speak, Johnny commented, “It’s time to win some games against them.”

Like I said, obvious.

Well, obvious to me, anyway.  To Jeter, a little less so apparently.  In the language we’ve come to know and love as Jeterese, Derek commented, “It doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure they’re not thinking about what happened before. We couldn’t care less what happened the first five games. It has no bearing on this.”

Right.  Except that’s not true.

After an extremely shaky start to the season — the kind that gets hysterics all worked up sometime around early May– the Yankees appear to have realigned themselves.  The introduction of A-Rod to the lineup seems to have been a major catalyst.  Teixeira has, of course, also started performing to expectations. (FYI, he was always going to.)  The only hurdle we have left to surmount is a victory — preferably a series victory — against the Chowdas.

Derek, ever the diplomat/wet blanket is right in one sense: This game does not count any more than any other game.  To that end, we should just want to win to win.  Yet, there’s a reality at play here, whether or not Jeter wants to acknowledge it.  This rivalry exists. It’s heated, it’s fun, and it matters to people.  Certainly to the fans, if not all of the players.  So, in my mind, yes, actually, it’s time to win some games against them.

(Note:  I’m supporting the logic of Damon over Jeter.  It’s likely hell has frozen over.)

The real question mark of the evening is going to be in the pitching department.  During his last outing at Fenway on April 25, A.J. struggled. (And by struggled, I mean he got spanked.  And by spanked, I mean he gave up eight runs during a two-inning meltdown.) Mariano is also out for the night, having pitched three in a row.  This is always a devastating blow, though significantly less so against the Red Sox.

But here’s the good news: It’s likely we’ll call on Alfredo Aceves to fill in for Mo in the 9th.  The more I see of this guy, the more I like him.   He is apt to be a critical component to our long-term future success.   Plus,  A.J. is coming off a run of two consecutive wins, during which he has brought his rapidly increasing ERA down from a 5.28 to a 4.69.  I predict he will continue trending in this direction. If I had to guess (hope), I’d peg this game as a pitching battle rather than a hit parade.  On both ends.

Ultimately, though, whether it’s with one run in extra innings or ten within the first, tonight is about the W.  Period.  I’m not going to mince words about it. This is the Chowdas, and we’re the Yankees.  This rivalry is part and parcel of the reason we love to love the Yankees. Bragging rights are part of why we love to play this series.  Game 7 of the ALCS 2003 is why we’ll always love Aaron Boone — even though he’s just Aaron Boone.  Meanwhile. It’s June 9 and we’re still 0-5.

So, bottom line, like Johnny said, it’s time to win some games against them.

A.J. Burnett returning to his old hometown, where he was met by both a crushing defeat and a chorus of boos.  Upper-deki leaving the game after just one at-bat with a strained hamstring. Derek Jeter sitting out last night’s game with a sore right oblique and how worried we are or aren’t supposed to be about that.  (He says we aren’t, but he’s generally disinclined to tell us the truth about this stuff. He doesn’t like us to worry, which is thoughtful.)

But, instead, I’d rather talk about the wind patterns in the Bronx.  Because isn’t that what’s really weighing heavy on our minds?  Yesterday, the New York Post ran an article about the Yanks’ efforts to determine what in the heck could possibly explain the fact that in the first 13 games at the new stadium, there have been a whopping total of 47 balls hit out of the park –32 to right field.  In order to get to the bottom of this troubling issue, the Yanks’ front office people have compiled a panel of wind experts to monitor and study — you guessed it — the wind.  And wouldn’t you know?  According to Yankees COO Lonnie Trost, “The winds we were having were the least likely winds to occur.”

The least likely winds to occur.

I’m sorry, but you can’t make this stuff up.

He went onto say, “We’ll always look and we’ll always analyze. And right now, I don’t know if I can do anything about wind.”

Wait.  What?  So, did you go into this study with the idea in mind that maybe you would come out of it with some kind of idea as to how you might actually be able to control the naturally occurring phenomenon that is the wind?  Because when you say, “I don’t know if I can do anything about the wind,” it sort of sounds like you did.  It also sort of sounds like, even though you can’t now,  you think  that one day you might be able to.

Lonnie, you seem like a guy who can take it, so I’m going to give it to you straight:  You will NEVER be able to do anything about the wind.  Conducting this study was NEVER going to be anything other than a monumental waste of money and fodder for my blog.

Seriously.  Sometimes when these guys open their mouths and say things, it makes me feel like I’m living in a Kurt Vonnegut book.

However, as a potentially less wasteful use of their time, the Yankees are also looking into their ticket plans and whether or not they’ve done enough to enable to the real fans to actually come to see ballgames.  As of now, Trost thinks it’s too soon to tell.  “Every day we look at it and analyze it,” he said. “Could you really tell what’s taken place in two homestands with 90 percent of them in rain? I can’t.”

Funny, because I was actually at some of those games, and my assessment was that no one was coming.  I mean, we’re Yankees fans.  Overpriced tickets may keep us away, but rain?  Don’t insult us.

For some, this is a plus. Take, for example, the Yankees.  They like having a bigger dressing room, lockers with touchscreen computers, a chef.

Sound decadent?  Well, Brian Bruney said it best when he said, “We are not a regular team. We are the New York Yankees, and it has to be nicer.”

Ah, one only wonders why we’re a team universally despised.

Joba Chamberlain commented, “There’s so many places to go that I think you’re going to play hide and seek with yourself.”

Well, I guess whatever keeps you off the roads and out of trouble.

Among the other perks, the players will no longer have to deal with the burden of outdoor parking.  And I say, it’s about time.  I mean, all those pesky fans, yelling their names begging for autographs.  For the thirty seconds it takes to get from the locker room to the car that is. Lord knows what a nightmare that must be.  If only there was a way to eliminate the fans from the picture entirely.  You know, while still making that enormous paycheck and having a stadium full of people around to cheer for them when they make the big plays.

But those in the bunch who are somewhat more sentimental-I like to call them the real Yankees-couldn’t help but compare the new stadium to the place that for years they’d called their home. Posada remarked that the dimensions looked about the same.  Jeter felt a little too guilty to revel in the splendor of his new stomping ground while his old one still stood across the street awaiting demolition, saying, “It’s a new house, and it’s going to take you a while until you feel like you’re home.”

But Mo, on the other hand, feels that home is where the heart is, commenting, “It’s like a house-if you don’t have a family, it’s not a house.”  Love that guy.

Still, while the guys in the Yankees camp seem to be more or less embracing their new stadium, not everyone has given it such a glowing review. This morning, the New York Post ran a rather distressing, yet, not totally surprising, article written by Joel Sherman about his experience at the park.

He described it as charmless, lacking in proportion, and completely out of touch with the current economic reality of most of Americans. In short, he sees it as a $1.6 billion symbol of why it is that everyone just can’t seem to stand us.  It is, according to Sherman, just another way for the Yankees to set themselves apart from the baseball community, the people, the world.   To assert their better-than-you-ness.

Though, I suppose that’s the point, according to Brian Bruney.

Well, assuming that’s the point, then they sure as hell did a great job with their ticket pricing.  Even Hal Steinbrenner himself admitted that, as I suggested a couple weeks ago, yeah, maybe given the state of the global economy, they might have possibly slightly overpriced a few of their tickets by just a little tiny bit.

Their average ticket price is $72.97.  Last year it was $41.40.   In Boston, where we hate it, the average ticket price is $50.24.  The cheapest average ticket can be found in Arizona–$14.31.  Of course, in exchange for paying so little, you have to live in Phoenix, which is arguably even more of a pit than Boston.  So it’s probably not worth it.

Hal Steinbrenner did make an effort to show that he understood the struggles of the common man by making the following statement.  The bold parenthetical comments are courtesy of occasional guest blogger Chris Yamaoka:

“We understand that a lot of our fans are struggling. I mean, this is the worst recession in a most of our lifetimes,” he said. “But at the same time I think baseball has always been an escape for people, you know? [An escape that, regrettably, they will no longer be able to afford.] And I think what we’re going to provide here is an unbelievable experience for thousands and thousands of our [wealthier] fans that, despite the troubles they’re [reading that other people are] going through right now, maybe they’ll be able to get away for two or three hours, get [away from the commoners and] their minds off things. And we’re going to make that experience, you know, tremendous.”

The good news for poor Yankees fans is that they will still be able to buy partial-view bleacher seats for five dollars.  And before you get all up in arms about your obstructed vision, poor people, just remember this isn’t Hal’s fault.  After all, he wasn’t the one who made you poor.  Plus, to quote Chris, “Poor people don’t need to see the third base side of the diamond.”

Damon asks Jeter, "Now what's this thing called again?" Jeter laughs and silently tells the cameraman to "get a load of this fool."

Things are getting all kinds of experimental down in Tampa; Girardi has been toying with the idea of swapping Jeter and Damon’s spots in the lineup.

And it’s a move that I fully support.

It started as a happy accident.  Damon got moved back to two to give Posada more at-bats while he was getting his groove back.  Girardi liked what he saw.

Of course, between Jeter and Damon, Damon’s the one with the speed and also the one better known for working a count-both advantages when it comes to batting leadoff.  But, then, Jeter has a higher career OBP. The stats geeks suggest that Jeter has a slight edge for the leadoff spot. (So slight as to be practically inconsequential.)  But, whatever.  I think you could reasonably argue either side and have a valid point.

Some speculate that part of Girardi’s thinking is that he wants to separate two lefty hitters seeing as that lefty Brett Gardner will likely be filling the nine spot.  Bear in mind, however, that it was Damon himself who first hinted at that idea.  And that might just be what Damon tells himself to feel better.

If I had to guess, I would say that Damon probably has a pretty intricate system of rationalization that allows him to basically never feel bad about anything ever.

But leaving aside the numbers and the lefty v. right argument, Anthony Rieber from Newsday makes an interesting point:  Maybe part of the goal here is good old-fashioned motivation.  Jeter has seen a decline in his numbers over the past couple of seasons.  As I’ve previously discussed, while he may be the team’s leader, he doesn’t lead by oration.  He leads by example.  He sets the tone on the field by giving it his all.  And what better way to lead his team than to literally lead his team in the batting order?  To be the guy who gets the party started.

And by party I, of course, mean the loud club music and fireworks graphics on the jumbotron that accompany every run.

That or a cyst.

A-Roid’s latest display of acrobatics came yesterday when he was in the middle fawning over Jose Reyes.  And, look, if the guy wants to talk about his man-crush on Jose, there’s nothing wrong with that-in theory.  Except why can’t A-Roid ever say anything nice without saying something not nice at the same time?

Like, remember that time he tried to compliment Bubba Crosby for hitting a walk-off home run, but was only able to do it by first saying how it was the last thing you’d ever expect from Bubba Crosby?  Nothing against Bubba.

Well, similarly, in this latest installment of “A-Roid: The Backhanded Compliment,” our boy, in his infinite creativity, found a way to alienate teammates in an effort to praise a player for a different team entirely.

No wonder he hurt his hip.  That requires a lot of flexibility.

When asked about Reyes, A-Roid responded, “I wish he was leading off on our team or playing on our team. That’s fun to watch, any time you have that type of speed. I mean, we have a guy in [Brett] Gardner that’ll be fun. That’s probably the most you can have, watching those guys run.”

Reyes plays shortstop.  If I recall, the Yankees already have a shortstop.  He’s our team’s captain.  As for leadoff, that would be Damon.  A-Rod’s jackass in arms.

I’m sorry, A-Roid, but how hard is it to say that Jose Reyes is fast and good at baseball without creating any more discord in the Yankees clubhouse than you have already?  Seriously.  If you can’t talk without saying something dumb or accidentally insulting someone, stop talking.  That plan has my vote.

Not surprisingly, Damon was more than understanding. He said in response, “I’ve just got to go out there and prove to Alex what I can do.  Alex and I are very good friends, and I think over his whole ordeal, we’ve gotten closer. We’ll talk when he gets back.”

I don’t know what’s going on between those two, but I predict that it’s a friendship that will eventually go up in flames.  I can see it now.  Damon, the consummate loyal sidekick, is eaten up by his resentment.  What about him? When’s it his turn in the spotlight?  The dynamic starts to unravel.

Mark my words.  I am prescient, after all.

As for Jeter, he’s already reached the end of his very rapidly fraying rope where A-Roid is concerned.  When asked about the comment, he couldn’t even muster his typical Jeter-like diplomacy, responding instead, “I’ve got nothing to say, man.”

And, whatever.  Actions speak louder than words.

I’d like to see just how well the Yanks would do without Captain America at the helm to lead them.  Not so very well, if yesterday was any evidence. Jeter and Team USA took the Yanks 6-5 in an exhibition game.

OK.  That might have had a little something to do with the fact that A-Roid and Cano were among the missing.  And that Team USA is comprised of some of the best players currently in MLB.  But Jeet did drive in two of the winning runs.

So, you know, suck on that Reyes.

Well, not really of course. But as the WBC kicks off and many of the most talented players in the sport begin to disseminate, spring training definitely starts to feel like the secondary story.

However, before the real games begin and WBC teams can start playing for the sake of national pride, they will be focused on more local bragging rights.  For the next couple of days, the Grapefruit and Cactus Leagues will host WBC teams in a number of exhibitions games.

Talk about fierce competition-competition fraught with inner conflict and tough decisions about personal loyalty.

Look at Albert Pujols and his choice to sit out the game that the Cardinals will play against the DR out of respect for his country.  Not an easy decision.  In fact, so not an easy decision that it didn’t even occur to anyone else to make such a decision.

More people should love their countries like Albert Pujols loves his country.

Today promises to be a particularly heated day as the Yanks take on Team USA at Legends Field.  Talk about conflict-Jeter, who will be sharing time as shortstop for Team USA, is practically the poster child for the Bombers.  I mean, the tension must just be eating him up inside, right?

Actually, no.

“If it was a real game, maybe,” he said. “I think it’ll seem like an intrasquad game…. The story’s as big as you write it, I guess.”

What is he, drugged?  Sure, that’s true-technically.  But why doesn’t anyone feel things with the same kind of intensity as Albert Pujols?

Despite the fact that Derek Jeter might be under some crazy illusion that today is just for fun, one thing’s for sure: he won’t be messing around when it comes time for the real competition to begin.  When Derek Jeter plays, he plays to win.  And according to Team USA manager Davey Johnson, their team is the “team to beat” this year.

Poor old Davey. I think he might want to look closely at all the rosters before he goes mortgaging the farm on that creative assertion.

He doesn’t like his attitude on the field, he doesn’t like the way he conducts himself off the field and, at the moment, he definitely doesn’t like that A-Roid has forced him to spend the first week of spring training talking about performance enhancing drugs.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a criticism. I don’t like the guy either.

But, still, Jeet is Jeet, and he gets that part of the job description includes showing up at annoying press conferences to support detested teammates and making statements to publicly back them.  It’s just that, given how long it took for him to muster the strength, I have a feeling it wasn’t exactly an easy pill to swallow.

With regard to A-Roid’s most recent scandal, Jeter naturally said all the right things.  That everyone makes mistakes, that the slate was clean and that it was now his job to support A-Roid through this difficult time.  Sure, he’s disappointed in Alex.  But not as disappointed as he imagines Alex is in himself.

Sort of like the Johnny Damon, “Steroids aren’t murder” approach.  Just slightly more refined.

But Jeet also used this public platform as an opportunity to make clear the fact that this period of time has been inappropriately dubbed the “Steroid Era.”  He commented, “That’s the thing that gets irritating. I think it sends the wrong message to baseball fans and kids, saying that everybody was doing it. That’s just not the truth.”

The fact that Jeter had to make a point of separating himself from A-Roid while he was in the middle of defending him sends a pretty strong message about what he really thinks.

In other words, “Don’t judge that guy for what he did.  But don’t judge me for what he did either.  Cause I’m with you; that guy’s the worst.”

Technically, Jeter hasn’t done anything wrong here.  The only thing he’s guilty of is not handling this with  1000% Jeter-like grace and perfection.  The guy’s human, he’s annoyed, and if he hasn’t been A-Roid’s number one cheerleader, I don’t begrudge him that.

People want Jeter to make speeches, give pep talks, and get everyone all worked up.  Well, guess what?  Derek Jeter’s not David Cone.  He has always had a very specific style of leadership.   He leads by example.  He leads by going on the field and playing his asset off like his very life depended on the outcome of every last play and at-bat.

So if people are counting on him to get the clubhouse together in the wake of this crisis, I think you can expect that.  I just think he’s going to do it the only way he knows how.  By trying to get past all the crapelbon so he can focus on doing what he came here to do in the first place:  Play ball.