struckoutlooking.com » Michael Kay

A-nough Already

Melanie Greenberg — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:02:36 +0000

For those of who have missed that whiny, cloying pathetic sound we have come to know as A-Roid’s voice, we got a little taste of it last night. Backlog. The YES network aired an interview with Michael Kay recorded earlier this month, in which A-Rod told the world that he had given up on being likable.

I’m sorry. Now I’m totally confused. Was the A-Rod we’ve been experiencing up until now the A-Rod who had been trying to be likable?

In this same interview, A-Rod also said that he did not want the names of the other 103 players who tested positive for the use of performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 to go public.

If you believe that, I’ve got a GNC supplement to sell you

I’m Just Not That Into Him

Melanie Greenberg — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:45:53 +0000

In an effort to back my assertion that he’s secretly a 12-year-old girl, Michael Kay apparently went to see He’s Just Not That Into You this past weekend. Why is it that I know this useless piece of information, you ask? Good question. I shouldn’t. But when Colin Cowherd brought Kay onto his show, he apparently wasn’t in the mood to talk about sports. So he decided to review movies instead. And I learned a valuable lesson: The only thing worse than listening to Michael Kay talk about sports is listening to Michael Kay talk about anything other than sports.

According to Cowherd, the woman who saw the movie with Kay must have been really hot because a woman’s level of hotness is always directly proportionate to the crappiness of the movie a man is willing to see with her. (Sounds scientific.) According to me, the woman who saw the movie with Kay must have had really bad taste because the person with whom a woman chooses to spend her time is often a reflection of her taste level.

Kay reported that the movie was terrible but worth the $10.25 just to see Scarlett Johansson in her underwear. It’s a wonder ESPN Radio doesn’t do better in the ratings-what with all this cutting edge sports coverage

Like I already said, I don’t know much about the qualifications for the People’s Hall of Fame, but something tells me that Michael Kay is totally never going to make the ballot.

Which reminds me. Make sure you vote.

You Take The High Road

Melanie Greenberg — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:00:05 +0000

Remember when, just a couple days ago, Mike Francesa tried to tell us about how he wasn’t in competition with anyone? It was right before telling us that ESPN radio was never going to catch WFAN in the ratings.

I believe the exact quote was:

“The idea Dog’s rooting against me, he made that pretty clear today. That’s fine. I don’t have a problem with that. And the idea that he’s rooting for ESPN, that’s good, too. They need his help. They need him and a whole lot more before they’re going to catch me, OK?

Because as sure as I’m sitting here, they’re never catching me, and you can underline that, OK? So the idea that they’re chasing me down in Jersey or they’re chasing me down somewhere, well, you know what, bring friends and ban everybody you can ban and bring a whole lot more ammunition than you have so far, because you have never gotten close, and you never will, as long as I’m sitting here.

Maybe someday after I’m gone, but not while I’m sitting here. You can take that to the bank, you can quote it, you can hang it up in their offices and in the Sirius offices. Because as Yogi once said, you could look it up. And you want to see what the ratings are, and Dog’s pals like Raissman in the media, look them up and write the facts, and check me on any one of the ratings I just gave you and write the facts. Because all those are facts.

This show is doing great, my guys are doing great, and we’re not worried about anyone else, and we work hard and we don’t give anybody else a hard time, but if you’re going to come after us, then you better bring more than pea shooters. Because you know what? The FAN has been No. 1 here for 20 years and it’s going to be No. 1 long after I’m gone. But while I’m sitting here, you can be damn sure it’s going to be No. 1.”

Totally the words of a man not in competition.

Surprisingly, when questioned, Michael Kay, everyone’s favorite geek-hating, smack-talking ESPN Radio broadcaster, claimed he didn’t want to get involved. He said he was taking “the high road.”

Note to Kay: People taking the high road don’t usually tell everyone they’re taking the high road. They just take it.

Kay went on to comment, “I’m very happy with my life and my standing and find no need to lash out at others. I leave that to those that are seemingly less content with what they’ve been blessed with.”

So, not only is Michael Kay really good at taking the high road, but he is apparently also an eight year-old girl stuck in a grown male sportscaster’s body.

Remember that time that A-Rod said, “Nothing against Bubba Crosby”-right before saying all those really insulting things about Bubby Crosby? You see, just because you preface your statement with something intended to rob your statement of its actual meaning, it doesn’t mean we’re not going to understand your meaning. Kay and Francesa must have slept through that day of broadcasting school.

But that’s all I’ll say about that. Because I’m taking the high road.