That said, first they have to get there.

Japan’s road to the finals will not be an easy one.  It will require them to win their upcoming game against Team USA with likely starter Jake Peavy.  And despite the fact that the red, white and blue is a team increasingly riddled with injury, it is also a force to be reckoned with.

As for the Koreans, they will meet the Venezuelans, a team favored in many circles on account of their lineup of major league sluggers. Our Korean boys, however, do have one distinct advantage.  Recon.  According to Korean manager Kim In-Sik, “We didn’t meet them directly, but we saw them through the TV different times.”

If I had a dollar for every time I said that to a famous person.

What an upset.

That’s right, while you were busy ogling pictures of A-Weird ogling himself, Team U.S.A. was busy dogpiling to celebrate their 3-1 victory over Puerto Rico.  That is, according to David Wright, anyway, who was the hero of last night’s game.  Dee Dubs commented, “I never thought that we’d be dogpiling in March, but it was pretty special and something I’ll always remember.”

Ah, yes, one doesn’t soon forget his first March dogpile.  Hold on to that memory, Dee Dubs, and count yourself lucky.  There is no guarantee that you will ever again feel that kind of magic.  Unless, of course, you get yourself a wallet-sized copy of the A-Weird make-out picture to carry around with you.

In winning the contest against Puerto Rico, the U.S. have not only secured a spot in the semifinals, but they have eliminated the commonwealth from the race.  And on behalf of commonwealthers everywhere, let me just be the first to say, “Ay, que lastima!”

But wait.  It wasn’t all bad.

Our Koreans friends were able to pull out a win in last night’s game against the Japanese. In addition to the fact that their victory assures them a spot in the next round, it also leaves them with a 2-1 record against the Japanese in this year’s Classic.  And what better way to say, “Occupy this.  Oh, and yeah.  We’re better than you are at baseball.”

Korea’s 4-1 victory was, in part, the result of two careless first-inning defensive plays by Japanese second basemen Akinori Iwamura. When asked how he felt about the plays, Japanese manager Tatsunori Hara commented, “Let’s just say that the out was what was wanted.”

Pay attention, folks.  Cutting edge baseball analysis happening here.

The Japanese, however, are not out of the race just yet.  Tonight, they will play the Cubans who have kept their own hope alive by knocking out the Mexicans.

Moment of silence for Jorge Cantu.  I’m gonna miss that guy.

So the Japanese and Cubans will be battling it out for the fourth and final slot in the semifinals. (The Venezuelans have secured the third slot.)  It’s a familiar pairing.  The Cubans and Japanese met in the Classic Finals in 2006.  We all know how that ended; the Japanese won creating a worldwide stir and gaining international respect and admiration.

Actually, not true.  Sadly, I am like one of three people who actually follow the Classic.

However, the competition is undoubtedly more important on the global stage than it is domestically, where people tend to see it as that thing interfering with spring training.  And given that Cuba and Japan fancy themselves baseball playing giants, tonight’s game is bound to be an upset somewhere. Not on the scale of the Dutch elimination or anything.

But, well, no one saw that one coming.

The matchups are as follows:

Venezuela will meet the lean mean Dutch machine in Miami.  And may I just offer them (the Venezuelans) my sympathies in advance.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  The Venezuelans aren’t TERRIBLE.  They have a few players I wouldn’t kick out of my lineup-guys like Magglio Ordonez, Miguel Cabrera, Bobby Abreu, Ramon Hernandez, Melvin Mora and Carlos Guillen.  But, whatever.  They’re playing the Dutch.  And the Dutch are, well, the Dutch-a team fast developing a reputation for turning serious lineups into Hollandaise sauce.

Dutch manager Rod Delmonico seems to know this, and he recently said, “After the wars that we’ve been through, I don’t think I’ll worry about who we tee it up against.”

I just love a good mixed metaphor.  Second only to the direct expression of one’s actual meaning.

The USA and Puerto Rico will also square off in Miami today. And David Wright wants us to know that he refuses to talk trash about his opponents.  Why?  Because so dang many of them are players for the Mets. (Use of the word “dang” an attempt to capture the voice of David Wright.)    I don’t know when an unwillingness to trash talk became newsworthy, but I guess everyone just loves to hear about whatever adorable thing Dee Dubs happens to be doing at any given moment.

In any case, I hate to do it, but I’ve got to root against the red, white and blue on this one.  Well, not technically seeing as that Puerto Rico is red, white and blue in more ways than one, but they remain a favorite.  Sorry, Jeet. I’ll totally have your back if and when you ever play Mexico.

And speaking of Mexico, come Sunday, they’ll be playing the Koreans in San Diego. In an effort to elucidate the upcoming challenges of Team Mexico’s run for the semifinals, Mexican infielder Jorge Cantu commented, “Well, I mean, Korea and Japan are pretty much both the same team.”

Yikes.  Meaning what?  That all the players could get away with sharing a driver’s license?

But Cantu clarified his seemingly questionable comment by saying, “They play the little game.”

Ah, I see.  “The little game.”  Of course, “the little game” may be a reference to the Japanese-Korean centuries old conflict over a couple of rocks in the Sea of Japan.  It may also just be Cantu’s way of saying small ball.

Either way, something tells me that, given certain historical tensions, Japan and Korea would prefer not to be dubbed “pretty much the same team.”  I mean, come on, Cantu.  The whole point of this frickin’ contest is to prove that your country is better than someone else’s without actually having to kill anyone.  Get with the program.

Last, but certainly not least, Japan will play Cuba on Sunday in a rematch of the 2006 final, which ended in a 10-6 Japanese victory.  So, here’s the chance for Cuban retribution.

And where better, I ask, for the settling of an old blood feud than San Diego?  That place?  It’s got an edge.  And by edge I mean a killer whale named Shamu.